How do you use feedback to improve your public speaking confidence and style?
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How do you use feedback to improve your public speaking confidence and style? Feedback is a valuable tool for any public speaker, whether you are a beginner or a seasoned professional. It can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses, refine your message and delivery and boost your self-esteem. However, not all feedback is created equal, and not all feedback is easy to accept. In this article, we will share some tips on how to seek, receive and apply feedback effectively to improve your public speaking skills.
Choose your feedback sources wisely
Not everyone can give you constructive and relevant feedback on your public speaking performance. Some people may be too biased, too vague or too harsh. Others may not have the expertise or the experience to judge your speech objectively. Therefore, you should be selective about who you ask for feedback and how you ask them. Ideally, you want feedback from people who are familiar with your topic, your audience and your goals. You also want feedback from people who can communicate clearly, respectfully and specifically. You can ask for feedback from your peers, your mentors, your coaches or your clients, depending on the context and purpose of your speech.
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Listen to what people say — but it's equally important to listen for what they *don't* say. An example: After I give a talk, audience members often approach me and share the parts of my talk that resonated with them the most. That's great to hear — but I'm also eager to hear which parts they don't mention. What did I say that was ignored? What got overshadowed by better material? That's a signal: It's time to take that ignored stuff out, and replace it with new material that could resonate more.
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Public speaking - we all want to nail it, right? But, hey, feedback's like a buffet. You've gotta be picky or you'll leave with a stomach ache. Think of it this way: Would you ask a fish how to climb a tree? 🐟🌳 Of course not! So, get feedback from folks who've climbed that public speaking mountain. They'll show you the ropes and won't just tell you to speak louder. Now, imagine having a warm, supportive crowd every time you take the mic. It's like being the lead singer at your favorite concert. Just you, the spotlight, and a sea of supportive faces, cheering you on. Choose your feedback sources wisely, folks. It’s the difference between singing in the shower and belting it out at Madison Square Garden!
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Listen to feedback with an open mind
Receiving feedback can be challenging, especially if it is negative or unexpected. You may feel defensive, hurt or angry. You may also feel tempted to dismiss, ignore or argue with the feedback. However, these reactions will not help you improve your public speaking skills. Instead, you should listen to feedback with an open mind and try to understand the perspective and intention of the feedback giver. You should also thank them for their time and effort and ask them for clarification or examples if you are unsure about what they mean. Remember, feedback is not a personal attack but an opportunity to learn and grow.
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Be skeptical of Trojans bearing gifts. When I worked in consulting, the phrase most often invoked at McKinsey about feedback was the following: Feedback is a gift. You have to accept it - But what you do with it is up to you.
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Being open-minded means being aware of your own unconscious cognitive biases. It means acknowledging the feedback you receive and counteracting the urge to defend yourself immediately. It means adopting a neutral view when all you want is to take it personal. In the end, you’ll be the one deciding what to take from the feedback you receive. But you’ll only have a chance to do so if you received the messages.
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Evaluate feedback critically
Not all feedback is equally valid, useful or applicable. Some feedback may be based on subjective preferences, outdated norms or inaccurate observations. It also may be too general, too vague, or too contradictory. You may even find some feedback to be irrelevant, outdated or impractical. Therefore, you should not blindly accept or follow every piece of feedback you receive. Instead, you should evaluate feedback critically and compare it with your own goals, expectations and standards. You should also consider the source, the context and the evidence of the feedback and decide whether it aligns with your vision and values. It's important to also look for patterns, themes and trends in the feedback. From there, you will be able to prioritize the most important and actionable points.
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As you evaluate feedback, it's important to give positive and negative feedback equal weight. If your audiences or peers honestly want to help you improve, sometimes it's easier for them to point out specific areas for improvement than to highlight what you're already doing well. So give yourself a balance so that you don't loose sight of the positive. A great rule of thumb when you're GIVING feedback is to identify two things that were done well for every one thing that can use improvement. Remember to mentally give yourself that balance when RECEIVING feedback. This way, as you learn and practice, you can accentuate your strengths while you build confidence other areas. This can help your overall performance improve more quickly.
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If you were strategic about the way in which you asked for feedback, you’re likely to be strategic in applying it. As you evaluate all of the “gathered artifacts,” don’t hesitate to go back to the person who gave you feedback to fill in the blanks if what you have doesn’t feel actionable. Once you’re all set, try to evaluate the areas that you feel are most detrimental to meeting your objective as a public speaker and address those first. Keeping a strong focus and prioritization top of mind will ensure you’re implementing what you’ve learned.
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Apply feedback strategically
Once you have evaluated the feedback, you should decide how to apply it to improve your public speaking skills. You should not try to implement all the feedback at once or change your style completely. Instead, you should focus on one or two areas that you want to improve and set specific and measurable goals for yourself. You should also plan how to practice and monitor your progress and seek more feedback along the way. You may also want to consider experimenting with different techniques, methods and tools to find what works best for you. Don't forget to take time to celebrate your achievements and acknowledge your improvement.
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Focusing on your successful experiences and reminding yourself of times when you demonstrated the ability to accept and use feedback constructively can help you see the feedback more objectively.
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When receiving feedback it is so easy to focus on the negative comments. While it’s important to see where to improve it’s as equally important to focus on the positive responses. I had a mentor once explain to me that the positive comments are what makes you a unique and by focusing on what you did well and expanding on that area will make you a more memorable speaker.
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Seek feedback continuously
Feedback is not a one-time event, but a continuous process. You should not wait until the end of your speech or until someone offers you feedback to seek it. Instead, you should seek feedback regularly, before, during and after your speech. You should also seek feedback from different sources, such as your audience, your recordings, your self-assessment or your peers. It could also be helpful to seek feedback on different aspects of your public speaking skills, such as your content, your delivery, your structure or your impact. You may also wish to seek feedback on different occasions, such as rehearsals, presentations or workshops. By seeking feedback continuously, you will be able to identify your strengths and weaknesses, track your progress and adjust your strategy accordingly.
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Great advice! One thing that helps me is recording myself speaking and then going back over the video afterwards to improve my positioning and presentation the next time around.
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This is key for any big speaking opportunity. Doing a run-through with a few trusted coworkers was the most valuable phase of preparation for a conference presentation I had a few years ago. They were brutally honest - I needed to dramatically slow down, and should work on my confidence with a few power poses before starting. If I waited until after the real thing to get that feedback, it would've been demoralizing — at that point, it's too late to improve and you want to feel good about how it went! Having that chance for actionable constructive feedback, rather than an after-the-fact reflection, gives you the best shot at continuously improving your skills and taking pride in your progress.
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